Re: Real Treasure

Damien | 13/11/2011

First off, I did read all of it, as I was fortunate enough to have a spare couple of days in which to do so :-p

I think there is actually a pretty decent story here, but as is often the case with your writing, the story seems to be much longer than it really needs to be. I like the general idea of the story, but to be honest I knew how it was going to end pretty much from the start, and then you took so long getting there that I really wasn't that bothered about the happy ending by the time you got there.

The actual writing, as always with you, is of a really high quality. I just think that you have a tendency to drag stories on much longer than you need to. If you edited this down to about half the length it is now I think it would make a much better story all round, as the pace would improve dramatically

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