The Ceremony

Damien | 04/12/2011

This is meant to be one of the happiest days of my life, but as I look at the behemoth sitting besides me at the banquet I couldn't help but wonder how my life had taken such a bad turn.

It was all my own fault, I suppose. I'd been read so many fairy tales as a kid that part of me had actually believed them to be real, and so when I had heard that the King in a nearby country was offering his daughters hand to any brave knight that would spend a night with her, I had jumped at the chance to offer my services.

I had assumed that her suite of rooms must be haunted or something, and the King needed someone to stay with his daughter and protect her from the ghosts. I was just a poor knight from a state that had remained neutral in all of the various wars that had broken out in the last 50 years or so, preferring instead of fighting to do trade with whichever side won.

So I had little chance of promotion, and although my position paid enough for me to survive comfortably enough, I wanted honour and adventure. A night with a few ghosts in exchange for a Royal Princess as my life-partner seemed like a fair trade to make.

When I had arrived at the castle and stated my intention, the King had smiled at me kindly and asked if I was sure I wanted to do this. I had replied in the affirmative, and his guards had marched me straight to the Princess's bedchambers.

The doors had barely been open a fraction of a second when I was forced through to the sounds of laughter from behind me, and found myself stood in darkness. A sweet voice had come towards me then, asking who dared to invade the room of the King's daughter.

Drawing myself up to my full height and trying to look as imposing as possible, even though I knew it was too dark for anyone to see, I introduced myself and explained my reasons for being there.

Before I knew what was happening, I had been dragged from my feet and yanked to the other side of the room, and within seconds I was lying on the bed trussed up like a hog. This was not the kind of knightly adventure I'd envisioned when I set out on this trip, and I began to protest loudly, only to have what I was hoping was a sock, preferably a clean one, stuffed into my mouth.

There was a sudden spark of light, and as it died down I began to wish I hadn't been drawn to it's brightness, even for the split second that it had burned. The Princess was hideous.

I don't use that word lightly, as until that point I had honestly believed that there is always something positive to say about people. But now I understood why the King was having so much trouble finding a suitor for his daughter.

The only thing that would possibly make sense would be if there had been some mix up at the hospital, and the King's daughter had been accidentally mixed up with a troll baby or something. But even that wouldn't completely explain the pure ugliness of this woman.

This was a troll that had fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down, and had clearly decided it was so much fun she'd been climbing back up the tree and throwing herself back out of it every day since she was born.

I needed to find a way to escape, otherwise I would be doomed to spend eternity with this creature. Or at least as much of eternity as I lasted before I was forced to take my own life.

I spent the night thrashing around as much as possible, trying to escape, or at least get the gag out of my mouth so I could call for help. But it was all to no avail.

When the guards came to collect me the next morning, I thought that I could maybe back out and tell the King that I'd changed my mind, but he pointed out, at the point of a very shiny sword, that I had sworn I wanted his daughters hand, and so either the ceremony would be going ahead or my head would be going a rolling.

It's now two days later, and as I sit here, next to my newly crowned knightess, I am seriously worried. Tonight I will have to consumate the betrothal, and I really hope she doesn't want to go on top. Or the lights on....

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