The Hair-raising Truth

Sonya Lano | 21/06/2011

He looked out the window and howled.
Oh, no, I thought. Not again! That sneaky full moon. It just creeps up on you when you're least expecting it.
And there he goes, tearing up another set of clothes like a rabid Tarzan, sprouting fur in all the wrong places (and I mean REALLY wrong places) and growing a snout with teeth reminiscent of Little Red Riding Hood's new and improved grandma.
Why can’t he keep his clothes on for once?
Although I suppose a werewolf darting about in tighty-whities would look a bit incongruous. Maybe I should buy him some boxer shorts instead. Decisions, decisions…and I don’t make good ones. Case in point? My choice of husband.
I’d thought being married to a werewolf would be romantic and exciting, a grand adventure in a brave new world (yes, and a poor deluded thing I was, too), but believe me, it's like having an oversized dog running rampant in your house.
He sheds fur everywhere (that dratted molting season every full moon), he has an affinity for gnawing on the couches with his canines and he scares little children when he lopes out onto the street with the stuffing in his fangs. I mean, what kind of husband is that? I have to take a Dirt Devil to him just to keep him decent. Moreover, I can't even train him NOT to mark his territory in the house.
And those pee stains everywhere are hell to explain when my parents come to visit, let me tell you.
At the very least he could be a dignified werewolf, but even that missed the mark. I mean, what's the deal with all that slobber? Is that really necessary?
Go to the dentist, for God's sake!
But nope, no getting him there. Putting him the car is akin to allowing him a free-for-all claw fest on the car seats. I'd like to keep my leather intact, thank you very much. You just go and shred the couches a bit more. There's a good boy.
Oh, yes, he's definitely more high-maintenance than I'd bargained for. And if I don't watch him closely, he's liable to start eating people on the side.
Speaking of...
Where is he?

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