Re: Every Sound has a Soul - Belated Feedback

Damien | 21/07/2011

Firstly, I apologise for taking so long to getting around to giving constructive feedback. As someone once said, life is what happens when you're busy making other plans!

Anyway, on with the critique -

Likes: Some great sentences/imagery, and Sonya picked out some of the best. My personal favourites though were;

"Adam had never let out the full might of his voice with every single ounce of breath, every muscle tensed in the fight to exorcise the dark hollows of his belly."

"Tears ran down his face and his neck like young kids running down sand dunes in the prime of their youth."

There is also generally a good pace, which I like a lot.

Dislikes: It's too long winded and descriptive in places. Especially in the paragraph about the dead butterflies. And it doesn't really GO anywhere. We don't know why Adam is howling. What has happened that has got him so upset.

There are too many unanswered questions for such a short piece about someone howling for my liking.

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