Thanks for the comments and some good points - the one about the X-Ray vision device was a particular "D'oh!" moment now you mention it!

Now I have a dilemma. I wrote this story one afternoon in a Prague bar seven years ago, and almost immediately forgot it. I dusted it off again earlier this year, and everyone who has read it so far seems to have a positive reaction to it. I toyed with the idea of tidying it up, but reading it again after so long, I felt the rough edges & inconsistencies added to the story's character.

Now I realise people enjoy this story, I'd like to try getting it out to a wider audience. So do I tidy it up? I'd really like to hear anyone else's opinion on this, because I'm not sure which way to go...